It is no surprise that in recent decades, the number of marriages has declined compared to previous generations. One of the reasons being that men are refusing to get married and start a family, this might confuse a lot of people, but the reasons have weight and need to be considered.
Norms Of Marriage Have Changed
Marriage being a cultural thing is done in many ways, but the theme remains the same. Respect your spouse, tend to their needs, stay together through thick and thin, and be their support when they need you most. This idea has taken a shift.
Women want to take care of their needs and not their husbands
Most modern women don’t want to take care of their husbands, they want to be taken care of or rather, pampered. There is nothing wrong with this thought if you did something to warrant this.
They won’t talk to their husbands properly and some of the time, go out of their way to belittle them. It is not uncommon for them to deliberately start fights, as they know their husbands can’t do anything. If he does something, he is a monster and if doesn’t, he is a coward. Either way, there is no way of winning in this scenario.
There is also nothing wrong with taking your job seriously, but taking it too far is not good either. Take this instance, if a husband told his wife to do something and her boss told her to do something, who is more likely she will listen to?
The notion of being strong and independent is taken way over the head. You see, most women won’t complain about the work given by their boss as they think it is being free or independent but the minute you tell them to do something for their husband, it is beneath them or they consider their freedom is being encroached upon. They will cooperate with their colleagues but refuse to do it with their husbands.
Marriage also like a job, needs some effort on both parts for it to work. If one person does all the things in a relationship they are bound to be exhausted at some point in time. Even before marriage, when we consider, men are the ones who put in the most effort. From making the first approach to setting dates to planning everything else. Being job-ready doesn’t make you marriage or relationship ready.
If you want traditional marriage you need to be traditional yourself. If you take a good look around, can you say for certain that today’s women are traditional? If you are not, why expect you will get advantages of them?
Most women, if given a choice, won’t want to work in the corporate field and would rather spend time with kids and families. But, you have to ask first, do you conform to the traditional norms? It is not uncommon for women to want rich husbands, why do you think they want that? Because they want to keep working or they would like their husbands to do the work while they stay at home? There is also an additional risk to men when it comes to marriage.
Risk Of Losing It All In Marriage
Unless you live under a rock, you know how divorce works.
Most of the time that means almost 80% of the time, the husband has to pay up when a marriage is annulled.
In that, all comes into the picture. His bank account balance, properties, real estate, business, etc. Everything that he might have worked for years to build through blood and sweat, half of which will now go towards his wife. If you have kids, child support will also come into the picture, how is any of this fair?
It is not considered how much expense goes into it. For example, it is pretty logical that children’s school fees would need to be paid, along with their other expenses of food, recreational, etc. This expense can be divided through mutual understanding and when you calculate it correctly, the figures would come to less than what you have to give.
But unfortunately, laws don’t work that way. The spouse’s expenses also get in the picture, but as stated earlier, how much expense is needed is not considered rather the money is given to maintain the so-called lifestyle of a person intact.
This might be my thought, but what I believe is that if a person is not mentally or physically incapable of taking care of themselves, they can take care of themselves. Before they got married they were doing just that, correct? So, what changed so dramatically that they suddenly need financial assistance to exist? And why does the wife need her husband’s house anyway? Doesn’t she have her own? If she doesn’t, why should be given one for free when someone else paid for it? Why should the money earned by an individual be given away when the spouse wants to end the relationship?
If you want to enjoy the benefits of a relationship, you should stay in the relationship. When you break the relationship, you shouldn’t be able to use its benefits. For example, when you like the food at a restaurant and you decide not to go there anymore as you don’t like it, does the restaurant owe you food for life? No correct? So why should husbands have to pay for life when the wife decides to leave? This is not the worst part either.
Fathers Being Treated As Second Class Citizens
If you look statistically, most of often almost 3/4th of the time, mothers get custody of the children. Fathers may get visitation rights once or twice a week if the court is generous.
This happens without solid proof if the mother is capable of taking care of the children or not. It is automatically assumed she is the primary caretaker of the kids. This alienation of children from their fathers not only creates stress on the father but also creates problems in children’s growth.
A strong father figure is necessary for the development of a child. In the case of boys, fathers are the ones who they first look up to. Sons learn the values of life and how to conduct themselves in society through their fathers. Having a father in the house significantly reduces the risk of teenage boys engaging in antisocial activities. It also helps build up their confidence and they can also seek help from the vast life experience they have accumulated.
Daughters also benefit by having a father in their lives. They act as gatekeepers to men who would want to take advantage of their daughters. It is more than likely that the dads would scare off would-be men who want to have flings with their daughters. They also showcase a positive image of men and, what qualities they should look for when considering a partner. They also don’t exhibit low self-esteem issues as they get support, care, and validation from their families making it less likely to look for outside validation by getting into toxic relationships. It is also a fact that having a father significantly reduces the risk of teenage pregnancies in girls which can alter the course of her life forever.
Even with all the above things that fathers do, they are never given credit or appreciation. It is difficult for men to enjoy a day in the park with their daughters as they would be eyed with suspicion. Men are considered bad parents partly because of media and entertainment sources. If you look closely at the content you consume, they actively show men as idiots and incompetent fools who can’t do anything without help, which is further from the truth. One only needs to look around in the real world to find out all that is made up.
Men would consider marriage again if they were given the respect and love they deserve. It is also not helpful that even if the wife decides to leave the husbands end up losing their shirt. Their fears are logical and rightfully so. Men are only adapting to the environment that is set up. If the conditions change, maybe, men would consider marriage again, until then, I don’t think they would consider going down this path anytime soon.